Define Your Spirit: Personal Development – Spirituality. Self Love.

 

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We spend an inordinate amount of time working on our love for others. We write songs about our lovers. We change our lives to be in a love relationship. We spend our energy in the fixing of love relationships gone wrong, but we don’t love ourselves. In fact, straight on the surface, we don’t like ourselves. Self love is a quantum leap for a lot of us. Yet, when practiced, it penetrates the depths of our soul instantaneously.

On several occasions I have practiced self-love. Each time, my heart warmed and my soul opened up. I believe that practicing self-love is a powerful tool that takes us several steps further down in the land where the spirit lies. When we find this place, there is a sacred shift in our focus. For the first time, I love me so—I don’t have to search out someone else to love.

Once we have lived in love with ourselves, it brings an important balance in the relationship we have with ourselves and with others. So often, the search for someone to love, is a direct result of not knowing how or never being introduced to the idea of loving yourself. Instead we do what ever we must to fit ourselves into a love relationship that doesn’t fit.

We will go to great lengths for the love of others. Often, on the search, we never get it. Even then, some of us will continue the pursuit. What if we all found the love we have for ourselves? Truthfully, if everyone in the world loved themselves, there would be a major shift in our interests. Romantic comedy in film and fiction for example. Why would we need books or films about love and romance if we loved ourselves and were not searching for it on the outside?

Self love can be ignited so simply. I began with an “I love myself because…..” list. I wrote it every night for a while and shifts occurred. Major shifts. What if when we were troubled in a relationship, we chose to examine our self-love. What if we gave ourselves all of the love that we are yearning for from someone else? I think it’s a little like eating, when you have enough you’re full. It’s the same with love.

I suggest trying the “I love myself because…..” list. If you like, try it today. My first day, was so powerful. I felt so great the next day. I recall asking myself, what did I do differently today than I did yesterday? Then I remembered the list from the night before. Our words penetrate deeply when they are focused in self-love. Why not give it a try?

For example:

I love myself because I am upholding my commitment to exercise.

I love myself because I am doing what I love.

I love myself because I made some difficult decisions that got me where I am now.

I love myself….

OK, your turn. My list ended up being quite long. To my surprise there is a lot that I love about myself. {smile} Now one word of note, some people have a little voice that speaks to them and says, you can’t say that about yourself, that’s too egotistical. It’s not, you deserve to know.

With love, Amanda

2 Thoughts on “Define Your Spirit: Personal Development – Spirituality. Self Love.

  1. Amanda,

    You said: “Once we have lived in love with ourselves, it brings an important balance in the relationship we have with ourselves and with others. So often, the search for someone to love, is a direct result of not knowing how or never being introduced to the idea of loving yourself. Instead we do what ever we must to fit ourselves into a love relationship that doesn’t fit.”

    This is extremely profound. So often we are taught to believe that we must only give to others in order to be loved and deserving of love. Therefore, we end up searching for the wounded versions of ourselves, to fix what is wrong within us, instead of looking inward and making the choice to proceed on a healing journey. There are so many benefits to the former. We could fix someone else, get love and attention (hopefully), put all of our energy and efforts into the art of human manipulation and in the end, we have more to fix then when we first decided to look for love in the wrong place.

    Thank you so much for underscoring this essential lesson in love. This is beneficial on so many levels!!

    Love,

    Anjana

    • Anjana,

      Thank you my dear friend for your profound comment. Searching for the “wounded versions of ourselves”. What a great descriptor. This has been my path for the las 20+ years. I’m looking at taking some time alone. For me, this is a way to stay connected to my inner spirit and big love. Once I have a strong hold on it, it will be time to let a special person into my life. Or maybe not. Maybe I’ll find solace in my aloneness.

      I love you and miss you!

      With love, Amanda

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